Now that we have the livret de famille, we've paved the way for dealing with french administration. There are less than 6 weeks until my husband flies to France - we bought his ticket last weekend and he leaves May 8th. We bought a round-trip ticket that returns on June 4th in case things don't work out, but that seems highly unlikely.
My best friend in Albuquerque asked me what my mother thinks of us moving to france and I said that I don't think it's really sunk in for her...then i realized that it really hasn't sunk in for me either!
Also, on the day i told my mom about husband's trip to france we thought there was about a 20% chance of him being staying. We thought - or at least I thought that he would go, make sure it's what he really wants, put out some feelers and then we'd come back in September and we'd start the process of setting up house at that time. Husband and baby would stay in France and I'd return to the US to sell the house and pack and move.
Now the reality is that, if things really start to move, I could be selling the house in august or september instead of starting the process at that time.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Perspective Shift
After I had a mini-breakdown at work, Husband and I have decided to "ramp up" the process of moving to France. My husband left a voicemail for the LA consulate about a week ago. Of course, we have received no response. Husband just sent an email to the person in charge of etat civil (at least according to the consulate's website)...so we'll see.
Our previous plan was to have the whole family travel to France this September/October so we've been saving up for the tickets and panicking over the $3000 price tag associated with this venture (that's just the tickets). Since it has been almost 10 years since husband was last in France, we came to the conclusion that it would be good for him to "scout" for jobs and to confirm that he really wants to go home.
It's weird how single tickets to Europe are a lot less expensive than the per ticket price of a group of three tickets...at least it seems that way when I am comparing one ticket in May to three tickets in October. I suppose it's because you can squeeze the singleton in the spaces left by different sized groups.
Anyway, husband thinks that it might be easier for husband to take care of some paperwork while he is in France instead of waiting around for the LA consulate! After reading various french administration horror stories i'm not so sure, but then again he is french...then again he's practically an etranger by now!
Update: Husband talked to his father and found out that there is a program to help French people repatriate, which gives them financial assistance/support. His dad also said that if that didn't work/wasn't an option, he could always get unemployment...which, as an American, seems very weird since he hasn't worked in France for more than 9 years.
Anyway, what this means is that my husband will have some sort of income "guarantee" until he finds a job, which makes it more feasible for him to stay in France at the "conclusion" of his visit than we had previously discussed-especially since he has a lot more lodging options as one person instead of a family of 3. So in one day we've moved from a 20% chance that he'll stay in France at the conclusion of his visit ("if i find a job i'll stay") to an 80+% that he will stay. Honestly, it's probably higher than that but it's just a big perspective shift! He said the only way he would consider not staying is if a bomb fell on France or if France started invading a third world country. Otherwise known as, not very darn likely.
Yet another update and i haven't even re-posted this! Husband just spoke to brother who just returned from a ski trip and didn't know that we were this serious about returning to france said that he could get husband some contract work doing management control/audit, which is what he was doing when he left france.
So what's the plan for me and my son...? Well, about a month and a half after husband's departure, we will take a vacation and this will be the "last chance" for us to decide if we are really going to do it. I like the idea of an escape clause...that if I come and i really can't stand it, we can go back. If I do like it then I will leave my son there (ack!). Husband will get him registered for school and I imagine that he will stay with his grandparents for much of the summer. Husband's sister is buying a place this fall and her apartment will be available in August. The idea is to take over her lease if possible. Husband will seewhat he thinks of the apartment and the location when he arrives and will look for another place if necessary.
This means that yours truly returns to the US, packs up the house, sells the house, ships household effects y cargo and, finally, flies to France to rejoin her family.
Our previous plan was to have the whole family travel to France this September/October so we've been saving up for the tickets and panicking over the $3000 price tag associated with this venture (that's just the tickets). Since it has been almost 10 years since husband was last in France, we came to the conclusion that it would be good for him to "scout" for jobs and to confirm that he really wants to go home.
It's weird how single tickets to Europe are a lot less expensive than the per ticket price of a group of three tickets...at least it seems that way when I am comparing one ticket in May to three tickets in October. I suppose it's because you can squeeze the singleton in the spaces left by different sized groups.
Anyway, husband thinks that it might be easier for husband to take care of some paperwork while he is in France instead of waiting around for the LA consulate! After reading various french administration horror stories i'm not so sure, but then again he is french...then again he's practically an etranger by now!
Update: Husband talked to his father and found out that there is a program to help French people repatriate, which gives them financial assistance/support. His dad also said that if that didn't work/wasn't an option, he could always get unemployment...which, as an American, seems very weird since he hasn't worked in France for more than 9 years.
Anyway, what this means is that my husband will have some sort of income "guarantee" until he finds a job, which makes it more feasible for him to stay in France at the "conclusion" of his visit than we had previously discussed-especially since he has a lot more lodging options as one person instead of a family of 3. So in one day we've moved from a 20% chance that he'll stay in France at the conclusion of his visit ("if i find a job i'll stay") to an 80+% that he will stay. Honestly, it's probably higher than that but it's just a big perspective shift! He said the only way he would consider not staying is if a bomb fell on France or if France started invading a third world country. Otherwise known as, not very darn likely.
Yet another update and i haven't even re-posted this! Husband just spoke to brother who just returned from a ski trip and didn't know that we were this serious about returning to france said that he could get husband some contract work doing management control/audit, which is what he was doing when he left france.
So what's the plan for me and my son...? Well, about a month and a half after husband's departure, we will take a vacation and this will be the "last chance" for us to decide if we are really going to do it. I like the idea of an escape clause...that if I come and i really can't stand it, we can go back. If I do like it then I will leave my son there (ack!). Husband will get him registered for school and I imagine that he will stay with his grandparents for much of the summer. Husband's sister is buying a place this fall and her apartment will be available in August. The idea is to take over her lease if possible. Husband will seewhat he thinks of the apartment and the location when he arrives and will look for another place if necessary.
This means that yours truly returns to the US, packs up the house, sells the house, ships household effects y cargo and, finally, flies to France to rejoin her family.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Bilingual Boy meets the Speech Therapist Tomorrow
My son has a speech and language delay. And it's not because he's bilingual! My dad and my brother both had speech therapy. My niece had speech therapy, although she's bilingual too...but the point is that it's not the end of the world and we don't need to stop speaking two languages to him so that he can learn English - why are people such idiotas!?
We have been getting parent training to help our child. Although it's one of those "common sense" trainings, it is really helping me and my husband communicate better with our son. I have seen the frustration reduce greatly for the entire family. It's called It Takes Two to Talk -here's the Hanen Program link. One of the things that the classes have helped me with is letting go of some of that bs, like my son has a speech delay because we are not the model bilingual parents. Or...my son wouldn't have a speech and language delay if I were a stay-at-home mom. Mr. French husband doesn't care for the activities and the small group communication of the training class. He thinks there must be some cultural difference there ;-)
Tomorrow we are meeting with our son's speech therapist for the first time. Yes, we started our parent training before he started his therapy.
We have been getting parent training to help our child. Although it's one of those "common sense" trainings, it is really helping me and my husband communicate better with our son. I have seen the frustration reduce greatly for the entire family. It's called It Takes Two to Talk -here's the Hanen Program link. One of the things that the classes have helped me with is letting go of some of that bs, like my son has a speech delay because we are not the model bilingual parents. Or...my son wouldn't have a speech and language delay if I were a stay-at-home mom. Mr. French husband doesn't care for the activities and the small group communication of the training class. He thinks there must be some cultural difference there ;-)
Tomorrow we are meeting with our son's speech therapist for the first time. Yes, we started our parent training before he started his therapy.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Quality of Life
It's odd, last night after I wrote my post I was reading jchevais' blog and was thinking that I am looking towards France to mitigate the stresses in my life while she is looking back to Canada to reduce the stresses in hers. Then, voila, a comment from Mrs. C. :-)
For me the toughest thing about being in the US is the complete lack of support from government and family. Of course my parents support me - on the phone - but they are both well over a thousand miles away. As far as government support, well we're getting a check in May for $1200 (or $600 or $1500 or I can't really tell from my husband's overview of the obtuse document that we received) called a "stimulus payment" because, of course, in the US everything can be fixed with money. You just have to make enough of it and then you can do, get, buy, more, more, more. I feel like a hamster on a treadmill - I'm always running, but there really is no destination. Time to pay for that school loan, time to pay for day care, time to pay for healthcare. It took us a year and a half to pay for my son's birth, and that's with insurance. Never mind that I pay taxes, but for what ? War and economic growth...?
Of course, stress does depend on where you live and your personality. I was pretty stressed in Chicago - and that was before we had a kid. We lived in the suburbs and worked in the suburbs so we had all of the stresses of Chicago without the convenience/culture.
We have been talking about either Paris or Bordeaux. Bordeaux would most likely be the least stressful environment, but we would not have family around us.
For me the toughest thing about being in the US is the complete lack of support from government and family. Of course my parents support me - on the phone - but they are both well over a thousand miles away. As far as government support, well we're getting a check in May for $1200 (or $600 or $1500 or I can't really tell from my husband's overview of the obtuse document that we received) called a "stimulus payment" because, of course, in the US everything can be fixed with money. You just have to make enough of it and then you can do, get, buy, more, more, more. I feel like a hamster on a treadmill - I'm always running, but there really is no destination. Time to pay for that school loan, time to pay for day care, time to pay for healthcare. It took us a year and a half to pay for my son's birth, and that's with insurance. Never mind that I pay taxes, but for what ? War and economic growth...?
Of course, stress does depend on where you live and your personality. I was pretty stressed in Chicago - and that was before we had a kid. We lived in the suburbs and worked in the suburbs so we had all of the stresses of Chicago without the convenience/culture.
We have been talking about either Paris or Bordeaux. Bordeaux would most likely be the least stressful environment, but we would not have family around us.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Status of Livret de famille
We got our livret de famille from Chicago a little while ago- late December/early January. That was just the registry of our marriage and getting the livret. The next step was sending the livret and our son's birth certificate to Los Angeles for LA to do their part. They received the material January 17th and still no response! My husband just called them to find out the status. He had to leave a voicemail, but we should have news soon.
We have discussed flying to France as a family in September (this year) and making our final decision about moving at that time. However, it's been a very long time since my husband was last in France and I have been thinking that it might be better for him to make an exploratory trip alone. Yes, that means that I would have to take care of our son alone for 2 weeks, but I think it would give us more confidence in making the move. We have several good reasons for moving - better social security, schools, quality of life, and a less stressful environment. I am concerned that my husband has an idealized view of France based on his youth - in his 20s, single, and without a child. That was about nine years ago and the world has changed.
We have discussed flying to France as a family in September (this year) and making our final decision about moving at that time. However, it's been a very long time since my husband was last in France and I have been thinking that it might be better for him to make an exploratory trip alone. Yes, that means that I would have to take care of our son alone for 2 weeks, but I think it would give us more confidence in making the move. We have several good reasons for moving - better social security, schools, quality of life, and a less stressful environment. I am concerned that my husband has an idealized view of France based on his youth - in his 20s, single, and without a child. That was about nine years ago and the world has changed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
